Are you the person who said,
"Dry January is an amateur event"
"Dry January is not for professional drinkers!"
"I'm completing Dry January by only drinking DRY white wine!"
Same girl, same!
I thought I was hilarious!
My birthday is 4th Jan, so I used to delay the start of Dry January
until the 5th and used to count down until 1st Feb
so I could return to my regular drinking habits and I was FINE with that!
I came to recognise that Dry January was an opportunity
to prove to myself and everyone around me I didn't
have a problem with alcohol...
and I'd tell you, then and now, I didn't have a physical addiction to it
but I was
not loving the lost sleep, hangovers, brain fog, low level anxiety, bouts of self hatred and the rubbish nutrition choices I was making.
Perhaps you are sick of thinking about drinking, recognising that the thoughts are taking up more head space than you'd like and realising you're not modelling a behaviour that you'd like your kids to copy in the future.
Maybe you've tried to quit before?
But...
You've thought you'd be lonely, miserable and boring without alcohol in your life
You're friends have said you're not as much fun when you don't drink
You normally connect/discuss the day with your partner over a drink
You LOVE the taste of it
So... You feel alone, unsupported
You feel like you have a 'problem'
You feel sad
You worry that the path to support means
AA or a conversation with your GP/Doctor you just don't want to have.
Uh huh, yep.
I googled 'Where is my nearest AA meeting' and then cried!
I made an appointment to speak to my doctor and than cancelled it.
I tried speaking to my friends and then stopped.
I didn't want judgement, pity or condolence!
I didn't know what I wanted but I knew I needed change.